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D.I.Y. Problem Solving Techniques… That Actually Solve Problems!

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This one is for the do-it-yourself loving, roll-up-your-sleeves slaying, never-ask-for-help heroes. The ones who inspire, create, and are known for proudly saying, “I got this.”  We stand in solidarity with all of you floor- tiling, dog- training, language-learning, video watching-crock-pot creators. We applaud your spirit and tenacity. We know you don’t stumble upon information, so landing on this page was an intentional act. You are either facing a problem, crisis, stressed, need some motivation, or are looking for a checklist of how to fix your situation. 

We know you are no stranger to reading directions, so we have listed below three steps that will help you solve any problem. 

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1.     Write On: Set aside fifteen minutes and write down the problem. Write down what it is, who/what it effects, and why it’s important to solve it. The reason we recommend writing it down with a pen and paper is the act of writing slows you down. You can’t be thinking of ten thousand things to do when you are trying to focus on one. Writing actually makes you concentrate, and this leads to finding better solutions. 

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2.    Own It: This part is sometimes tricky if you’re feeling stressed or angry. However, if you’re going to fix something you have to take ownership of it. For instance, if you write: “My boss expects too much of me on the weekends” you instantly become a victim of circumstance. You are not a victim, so don’t place the burden of responsibility on the other person. Instead, empower yourself by writing, “I am not meeting my boss’s expectations on the weekends.” This statement creates a problem you can change and doesn’t leave you feeling helpless. If your problem is a relationship make sure you apply the same rule. Instead of writing, “My husband/wife won’t listen to me” write “I am not communicating with my spouse in a way that meets my needs.” This statement will lead to real, tangible solutions.  See the difference? 

If you are struggling with this step, rest assured, we have been there and can help. (By calling you are taking control of your life, and don’t worry no one will take away your title of D.I.Y. expert)

3.    Solve it: Now that you have taken control of the situation, by owning the problem, you can solve your problem. Consider creating a chart to help you see everything clearly. 

Problem Solution
I have to work on the
weekends.
I will ask my boss how I can be more productive during work
hours.
I am not communicating
in a way to ensure my
needs are met.
I will change my approach and be
direct.
I am not losing weight. I will be honest about my food
intake by charting it.
I am not getting the results I want in school. I will re-evaluate my time
management and allow more
time to study. 
I am never on time and
stressed in the morning.
I will get up 30 min earlier and allow myself ample time to start the day. 
I am unable to get my work done on time because I get
distracted. 
I will disable my social media during the hours of ___ till____

 Often problem-solving seems complicated, but it’s not. The hard part is being honest with ourselves and owning our contribution to the problem. It’s tough to do, really tough. If you have any doubts about this, watch opposing political commentary, and you will see a plethora of examples. We live in a world that has mastered the art of taking no responsibility for their actions. And the truth is we all have done it, but the difference between them and us is now we take action, own it, and solve our problems. We don’t accept a situation that we can’t change, because we know we can. We are D.I.Y experts, and we will not leave our most important project, our life, in someone else’s hands.

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Enjoying being in the moment and exactly what it means…

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Being in the moment can be beautiful and very fulfilling. A single word for being in the moment is mindfulness.

Mindfulness, as described by the Oxford dictionary, is described as
a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

In the hustle and bustle of busy lives, wearing many hats, rushing on to our next set of duties and responsibilities, accomplishments and checking off our many, never ending to do lists, we could find ourselves on auto-pilot and not fully being in the moment. That leads to being unfulfilled in a task or it may even cause dread to begin it.

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash woman sitting facing the sun silhouette
Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

Being mindful is essentially being in the moment and when we go about our daily routines at home or the office such as (washing dishes, laundry or eating, sending emails) it causes us to do just that–to be in that moment. When we are mindful it compliments our appreciation for life, what we have and also why we’re doing what we are doing. If we’re not in the moment, then our “accomplishing self” is task-driven, therefore we’re on autopilot to get it done. However, try connecting with your senses–for example, when we eat. We can take the time to be appreciate our food visually, indulge in the aroma, and truly be in the moment enjoying the texture, flavor and the delight of our taste buds’ satisfaction. Okay, so I guess you can tell I’m a foodie. LOL.

On a more serious note, it’s the difference between being hearing someone vs. listening. Living vs existing. Feeding yourself vs enjoying a meal. Completing a task vs. living in the satisfaction of your ability to have things to take care of that sustains you.

Being mindful can add value to the important relationships of our lives. As I stated before, listening as hearing someone is to different things. Have you ever been told that you’re not listening? Are you guilty of thinking that you know what someone is about to get to, so you began speaking or finish their sentence? What about checking out of the phone conversation when someone else randomly starts to speak to you in the background? Or, simply having your mind wonder while someone is speaking to you?

We all want to have someone to truly provide a listening ear and sense that someone is truly engaged, hearing, and listening with their mindful, undivided attention. That adds value to the relationship. It builds trust and security in the relationship. I now see things in a whole new light as far as people and interruptions. I’ve learned that interruptions are opportunities to serve others. They called you because they need you, they need a listening ear or feedback. Use opportunities to serve others and be a blessing to others. I used to think–snap back at people when they would be rude. Then I understood that they may be going through something and that it wasn’t personal. Hurting people hurt people. Through my growth, maturity, and wisdom gain. I’ve learned a lot and often times people have come to me and apologized because first of all again, I know its’s not personal, and I’m an empath and not moved by their low vibrations. I’m compassionate and focus on the bigger picture of our encounter. Being in the moment, responding vs. reacting, can make a big difference in your day-to-day mood and mindset and understanding of yourself and the people you deal with as well. Scroll down to check out more on responding vs. reacting. It’s all concerning being mindful, and trust me, it’s valuable info that you can use for self-development.

Responding vs. Reacting

www.thindifference.com/2013/03/a-mindful-difference-respond-vs-react/

Also, here’s a quick bible scripture concerning our listening and reacting…

James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry

Here’s a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche that drives my intention home:

“To learn to see- to accustom the eye to calmness, to patience, and to allow things to come up to it; to defer judgment, and to acquire the habit of approaching and grasping an individual case from all sides. This is the first preparatory schooling of intellectuality. One must not respond immediately to a stimulus; one must acquire a command of the obstructing and isolating instincts.”

Take the time on any given day to FEEL, SENSE AND SEE all the beautiful around us. There are people that walk around in and out the homes not taking the time to observe the beauty and blessings that before us. Such as the beautiful sun that rising for us daily, the weather is something EVERYONE notices and talks about. But, take it a steps further what about the sky that’s (at times) looks as though someone painted it, or what about the nature in general, the birds, flowers that bloom. The joy in someone’s smile, the innocence and imagination or the children in the world, the kindness of a strangers opening doors, blessings you to have a nice day, people that go above and beyond to assist you.

Take it all in. It’s here for you to encounter. Be still, quiet the mind and just be. -Katrina Marie

See the source image

The great time to practice and learn to be mindful is while you are walking, driving, running, cycling–things of nature that put you in the best state to calm the mind. Engage and take in your surroundings. It also gives way for your intuition development–having you tune in and be receptive, as well as for room for your creativity to flow. Take time out for you and all that you’re blessed with moment by moment, minor or major. It’s hard to be mindful when you’re mind is FULL. Best wishes on your Journey to your best self!

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I’m leaving you with a link to 10 Mindful exercises for you to try out so that you can enjoy your moments..

https://blog.mindvalley.com/stay-present/

Lastly, here’s a spiritual breakdown of the definition of mindfulness:

http://Mindfulness is the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which one can develop through the practice of meditation and through other training. Mindfulness is derived from sati, a significant element of Buddhist traditions, and based on Zen, Vipassanā, and Tibetan meditation techniques. Individuals who have contributed to the popularity of mindfulness in the modern Western context include Thích Nhất Hạnh, Herbert Benson, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Richard J. Davidson.

Peace of mind, Joy and fulfillment to you on your precious life journey!

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Staying free from distractions

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Distractions are everywhere and sometimes staying focused is easier said than done. How do we stay free from distractions in a world filled with them?

We like to think that we have everything under control. That’s not always the case. As hard as we may try, distractions can be relentless–eating away at our time and quality of time with people we value.


We’re all familiar with Merriam-Webster’s main definition of the word distraction. It’s described as: a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. This could be a variety of things including…

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash holding phone looking at social media

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

Social Media

This is surely one of the biggest distractions there is. Social Media can be very useful–a great resource and asset. However, if you’re not focused, it can pull you away from what you were there to do in the first place. We’ve all been there. We hop online and somewhere down the line we notice a post, something interesting or something we’ve been contemplating or wanting to look into. We click on it. Get engaged. One engagement leads to another. Next thing we know 10 mins has breezed by!

Silencing those pesky alerts and notification can help. Remembering our primary focus. Being our own boss. Our own accountability partner. Maybe give ourselves a reasonable time frame to be online can help. Remembering our goals and desired outcome can push us through. Lastly, experiencing success gives us an adrenaline rush, filling us with happiness, joy, and drive to create more success. We need to feed our focus and starve distractions.



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Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

Smartphones

Smart phones are sort of in the same category as social media, simply because we have access to social media alerts on our phones. Which, leads me to speaking on disabling those pesky alerts, beeping, buzzing, ring tones and notifications.

This is a tricky area because we have so much in the palm of our hands with the possession of our phones–phone calls, text, blog alerts, emails, calendars, reminders, social media, banking, music, productivity apps and more.

There comes a time when we simply have to put the phone down, silence the phone, and let people know when we’re available and when we’re not.

There is an option we have to go into your settings and personalize each app. We’re able to disable permissions that allow your phone to send you each and every irrelevant notification. Or, try using the silent feature, yet keep the phone flipped over and close in view just in case your expecting a call or message from someone. With that said, you can set it to vibrate (if that doesn’t bother you) and keep it close by so you can hear it.

We can take full advantage of all of the options we have as far a settings and alerts. It sure could be helpful. However, we are captain of our own ships. In control of our own actions and reactions. We all know where our strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to being focus or not.

I think it’s best to reevaluate in the moment of being distracted while it’s still fresh. What distracted you? How? Why? What could you do to avoid it? If it’s a thought that came to mind or something that you ran across on your phone, write it down to explore later.

At the end of the day, the question is did we give it our all? Did we overcome our obstacles? Did we gain what we strived for? If not, don’t beat yourself up. Reevaluate and move forward. Learn from your setbacks.

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People

Here’s a few scriptures speaking on the company we keep…

Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm

People. Yes, People can be a distractions. After walking away from some people. I call them “Energy vampires” as I’ve learned. When you walk away from them, you feel drained. You may have been in good spirits. Then afterwards you were feeling “down”, upset, frustrated, discouraged, drained and just not in the mood, mindset or motivation and confidence that you had before they entered your space. BEWARE of people like that. They can sense and see your POSITIVE, BUBBLY, OPTIMISTIC ENERGY FROM AFAR and they want it. They may be wondering (and I’ve heard people say this, and maybe you have to,) why are you so happy. Have you ever noticed when they asked that their facial expression wasn’t one of being happy for you or one of happy intrigue? It’s a face of confusing and extreme curiosity. You may not get the, “I’m happy for you,” that you were expecting. Not that you may need it, but it’s good to have support and other times encouragement.

Every noticed when you approach someone or vice versa, you’re in a good mood and they clearly aren’t at their best? Or, maybe that’s “just them”? Perhaps they’ve been that way. Maybe they’re a Debbie downer or negative Nancy, a complainer, or one that plays the victim. People like that (energy vampires) have the potential to suck your energy from you because they are in low vibrating energies and mindset. They will drain you by the quality or direction of conversation. You will notice when you leave (as stated before) you won’t be in the same mood or mindset in which you came. However, they may be uplifted. Sometimes you will find them laughing, smiling, and tickled by pushing your buttons and simply draining and using your energy. I’m leaving you with a few links to check out so that you can be aware of low vibrating energies and how to recognized them and deal with them.

This link is concerning 8 Symptoms of a Low Vibration to Look Out For (whether it’s you or someone else)

This link is concerning 8 Symptoms of a Low Vibration to Look Out For (whether it’s you or someone else)

https://raiseyourvibrationtoday.com/2015/03/10/symptoms-of-a-low-vibration/

This one is 6 Ways to Shield Yourself From Low Vibration Energies Without Avoiding Anyonehttps://www.lifecoachcode.com/2017/11/17/shield-yourself-from-low-vibration-energies-without-avoiding/

Lastly, the second definition of the word distraction according to
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is: extreme agitation of the mind or emotions. With that said, Please, protect your mindset, guard your thoughts for they can be distractions also. Negative, self sabotaging thoughts can take us out of the will of God for us. They can take us away from our true potential, goals, values, perceptions and directions and beliefs. Their ego will constantly try to win and get your attention. Find ways to keep your thoughts positive, focused, and encouraging. Whether it be the scriptures, affirmations, surrounding yourself with any and all things positive, supportive people, songs, television content, videos, songs, TED Talks, quotes, uplifting beliefs, or meditation, keep yourself lifted!

I hope you found this helpful and for those who relate to the point of the content, thank you!

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Stuck in a Web of Lies? Use These Three Power Moves to Untangle Yourself!

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Imagine for a moment that the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and there are no clouds in the sky. Feeling motivated by mother nature, you grab the leash and set out to walk your dog. As you reach the front door and step outside, you hear tornado sirens. You immediately retreat indoors and turn on the television. You find a credible news station, and it reports that there is a tornado on the ground! The frantic weatherman is running back and forth in front of a giant map yelling, “Take cover!” He then points to a glowing red triangle and gasps uttering, “This will be the storm of the century.”  Now feeling panic-stricken you run to the window, look out, and confirm that the sun is still shining and the day is still gorgeous.

man and dog walking near a sunny window

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Perplexed, you switch the station to watch another equally credible station, but on that station, there is a weatherman wearing sunglasses and smiling. He reports the weather will be picture-perfect all day long! This contradiction leaves you feeling unsettled. You start to wonder who to trust. One weatherman is confirming what you see, while the other is trying to convince you of the city’s inevitable demise. Searching for answers, you decide to log on to social media for some clarity. Much to your dismay, everyone there is arguing about which weatherman to trust, not the actual problem, the weather! Sounds completely crazy, doesn’t it? It’s not. It’s what goes on every day in our world. Someone we trust yells, “take cover” and we act. Some of us even spread the news so others can be informed as well. Better safe than sorry, right? Then it happens, the day comes, and we learn there was no storm of the century headed our way. They lied to us, and we believed them. We immediately feel enraged, and rest assured, that is a perfectly normal reaction. 

luis galvez teary eye

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No one likes to find out they were lied to, but being lied to is not nearly as bad, as what we do to ourselves following the lie. You see when we believe a lie, we not only stop trusting the liar, but we also subconsciously stop trusting ourselves. We begin to second-guess our ability to distinguish fact from fiction creating a feedback loop of negative self-talk. So, what can you do?

Here are three power moves to stop the negative self-talk and help you move forward right now!

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1. Applaud yourself for trusting!

Applauding yourself will not feel natural at first, but it’s as essential to your mental well-being as air is to your survival. You must reassure yourself that trusting people is a courageous act of vulnerability.  This sends signals to your brain that you were brave, thus reversing the negative chatter that is replaying in your head. It’s also a great response to the question, “How did you not see the truth?”  By reprograming your brain, you take back control of the situation. 

2.    Walk in Their Shoes.

I know what you’re thinking; there is no way I want to walk in their smelly shoes! I understand, but to lessen the impact of a lie, you must humanize the liar. They can’t remain an evil troll in your mind because that makes you far less likely to move forward. (No one can forgive an evil villain.) So, see them for who they are, a profoundly misguided individual, who let you down by lying to you. Nothing more, nothing less. The reality is we don’t know why someone lied to us. Perhaps they were hurting, sought attention, or they just repeated a lie they heard from someone they trusted. Bottom line- Imaginary evil villains are just that, imaginary. People are not imaginary. They are flawed, hurtful, angry, and insecure; but they are also trusting, loving, and capable of seeing anyone differently if they try.

3.    Get “Really” Real (after you have calmed down)

Be honest with yourself and speak your truth. Tell someone they hurt you, let you down, or forever changed the state of the relationship. Don’t tell the liar it’s okay if you know it will never be okay. That doesn’t help you take back your power.  Realize, that often, we seek a known, over an unknown, no matter the cost. But this creates more negative self-talk and will ultimately end in disaster. If you can’t move on, don’t say you can. 

Side note: I do believe some people can change. They can stop cheating, lying, drinking, etc. They can become better people and partners. However, they won’t be able to do so if they’re constantly reminded of their failures. This is not the formula for a healthy relationship and will prevent both of you from moving forward. 

Again, trust yourself enough to do what’s best for you.

The truth is being on the receiving end of a lie will never feel good whether it’s on the news, from a loved one, family member, or friend. A great mantra you might want to remember is, “I may not be able to trust others all of the time, but I can trust myself!” 

Joao silas magnifying glass writing with pencil on paper

Photo by João Silas on Unsplash

Don’t spend hours or days beating yourself up while reading books on how to spot a liar. That’s living in a constant state of victimhood. My grandma used to say, “If you are looking for a lie, you’ll find one. When you live this way, you are telling your subconscious mind the world is a dark place, and I will be ready. You aren’t living in a state of trust and love where you deserve to be living. Though, it’s human nature to reflect; you don’t need to relive the pain and turn into an amateur detective. Instead, spend that time building yourself up. 

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Here are some suggestions on how to change your negative self-talk now! 

Instead of saying:

I was lied to- I trusted deeply. 

I was betrayed- I loved bravely. 

I was foolish- I did not have the correct information. 

I was gullible- I believed what was presented to me by a deceptive person. 

I wish I’d never – I’m thankful for the lesson. 

They are evil- They chose to tell a lie. 

We are here for you and believe in you. If you need some help moving forward, we can help. Send us a message.

You Have a Lot of Choices Today, Being Comfortable is Not One of Them!

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We all get comfortable and follow routines that are familiar to us. We wake up, drink coffee, and get ready to take on the day. We go to work the same way, eat lunch at the same place, and drive home listening to the same music. We do all of these things without even realizing we have been on autopilot for hours. What is happening in our brains is not rocket science. Study after study finds that people inherently tend to gravitate toward the known; in other words, we love our little comfort zones. Psychologists Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson took on the idea of comfort zones back in 1908. They found that a general state of comfort resulted in fixed results and set levels of performance; however, if participants wanted to enhance their performance, unfortunately, they needed to get a little uncomfortable. This zone is what they called the optimal anxiety zone, and it’s just outside our comfort zones. If ideas of bungee jumping and skydiving are causing you to hyperventilate right now, go find a paper bag to breathe into, and sit down. This is probably not your optimal anxiety zone. So, relax and step away from the parachute.

Photo by Vincentiu Solomon on Unsplash person on parachute over snow-capped mountains

Photo by Vincentiu Solomon on Unsplash

No, no, no…The results clearly state that too much stress or anxiety can cause you to shut down. So, if you’re scared of heights, using the optimal anxiety zone theory might look like hiking up a hill or taking an elevator to the top floor of your office building. It’s pushing yourself past your comfort zone but not going to extreme measures. By getting uncomfortable, you prove to yourself that you can handle whatever life throws your way. So, each time you try a new dish, take that hike, or decide to go sliding down a water slide called the vertical blackout, you are sending signals to your brain that stress is okay and new situations aren’t scary.

What if I fail?

What if that new dish tastes awful, that hike was unsuccessful, or you bailed on taking the vertical blackout water slide.  That’s okay, give yourself a break and resolve in your mind that you will try again later. The problem so many people have is they fear failure. No one likes to fail. The word failure conjures up countless flashbacks of moments that were often painful or downright embarrassing. 

However, you must realize that even those moments taught you something valuable. In the book, “Creativity Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration,” Ed Catmull says it best:

“Failure isn’t a necessary evil. In fact, it isn’t evil at all. It is a necessary consequence of doing something new.” 

Maybe the lesson you needed to learn was to study more before a test, take feedback with a grain of salt, or allow plenty of time to prepare for an interview. *Or maybe you learned that you should never put tortilla chips in the oven, because the oil explodes into an angry fireball!  (So, I’ve been told.)   

Photo by Piotr Chrobot on Unsplash Fire extinguisher

Photo by Piotr Chrobot on Unsplash

The lessons we learn have the power to change us for better or worse. By taking control of your mind and seeing even your biggest failures served a purpose, you allow yourself the freedom to step into your optimal anxiety zone and change your life.   

What is one thing that makes you uncomfortable that you will do today? Here are some suggestions to help you begin brainstorming.

1.    Speaking up when you have a new idea in a meeting.

2.    Going to that exercise class that plays your favorite music.

3.    Learning a new language.

4.    Learning a new instrument.

5.    Hiring a life coach!

6.    Going to a new restaurant.

We’re cheering for you!

Why Life Coaching Isn’t What You Think It Is

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Need some motivation?

Feeling Stuck?

Not sure what to do next?

Then it’s past time to consider investing in yourself and hire a life coach.

Disclaimer:

First, let’s discuss what life coaching is and what it isn’t. Life coaching is not a replacement for medically supervised counseling. We wholeheartedly believe professional help can save lives and actual mental illness is not something you can slap a Band-Aid on and call it a day. If you are in a downward spiral and need medical attention, please call 911 or seek medical attention from a trained medical professional. If you are currently following a medically supervised treatment plan and feel life coaching is something you should incorporate into your treatment, first consult with your healthcare provider and feel free to contact us. We have no problem working with your doctor to derive a clear strategy for you to be successful.

So What Is Life Coaching?

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Photo by taylor hernandez on Unsplash

By definition, a “life coach” helps an individual face the challenges of life. It’s someone who trains you, guides you, and pushes you to be the best you can be. It is someone who focuses on the future, not past circumstances. Life coaching is not primarily about rehashing failed relationships, childhood memories, or any event you no longer have control over. Instead, it’s objective-driven strategies to help you unlock your potential and create the life you’ve always dreamed of living.

Where To Start?

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Photo by Andrew Itaga on Unsplash

Not too long ago, I came across an inspiring story about when Bill Walton (all-star player) met John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach. Here is an excerpt:

“Coach Wooden called all the freshmen together and walked us into the locker room. There, he sat down on a stool and began his lecture to us. We sat there like dutiful sponges ready to soak it all up, knowing that he was about to give us the key to heaven on earth, show us the path, guide us to become the next great team in history. His first words were, Men, this is how you put your shoes and socks on.”  

The truth is sometimes everyone feels stuck or needs a little guidance. Often, we see the goal and think we can dive right in, but in doing so, we miss the most significant step, the first step. A life coach can help you identify what your first step is, often it’s not what you might think. 

Turning Hope into A Plan!

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash lighted hope letters outside in the dark in the forest with light bulbs

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

There is actual science behind the act of planning and following through, but again the research may surprise you. 

“Researchers at Korea Business and the University of Iowa published an interesting article in Psychological Science, showing that people are much likely to accomplish goals when they engage in something called “future retrospection.” What is future retrospection? Simply put, future retrospection is imagining yourself as if you’ve already accomplished your goal, and then planning backward about all the steps that you had to take to get there.”

We are trained to help you turn your hopes and dreams into a plan. We know how daunting it can be when you want to move forward but feel stuck, and by focusing on the future, we can help you move toward it. We have reliable techniques and strategies to simplify your life. These aren’t merely checklists or to-do lists; instead, these are scientific approaches to help you reach your goal.  

Embrace Now!

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Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

What will determine your success is what you do right now. By investing in a life coach, you are investing in yourself, and in our eyes, there is no greater investment. Every goal, challenge, habit, relationship, and dream is fluid and forever changing. Nothing is permanent, but the past. So, leave yesterday alone, live today, and shine tomorrow. The future you will thank you. 

The Art of Walking on “Social Media Eggshells”

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It’s morning, and the sun is gently nudging you to wake up and celebrate the new day. You wrap your oversized terrycloth robe around you and navigate straight to the kitchen. There you find your “be happy” mug and make yourself the perfect cup of coffee. With coffee in hand, you grab your phone and head to your favorite chair.  Staring out the window, you get lost in thought, as the sun gently warms your face. Suddenly you notice a brilliantly colored bluebird perched on top of your freshly planted pink tulips.

You immediately grab your cell phone and snap dozens of pictures. Thrilled to share your experience with the world you crop and filter your images. Finally, you add a quick quote and some well-placed hashtags and click post. While you await the flood of likes, comments, and shares you are confident you’ll receive from your photo you decide to see what is happening in other people’s lives. You begin to scroll, and suddenly you read an angry political rant. Then you scroll further, and someone is complaining about the traffic in the city, then a boyfriend who didn’t text, and a neighbor’s dog that won’t stop barking, and so on and so on. You reach to grab your coffee, but just like your cheerful disposition, it has turned cold. The sun is now hurting your eyes, and all you want to do is go back to bed. Then suddenly you see a comment notification on your picture. You click to read the comment and feel instantly irritated. Someone you’ve never met posted: “I’m allergic to pink tulips, not to mention your optimism.” You immediately feel the discomfort of walking on social media eggshells as you try to craft a response. 

Dealing with these situations are at the least, awkward, and the worst exhausting. So, here are some helpful tips for treading lightly over these crunchy, unsavory words and keeping the good vibes flowing.  

1.    Don’t take the Bait!

Did you know the word “offense” comes from the Greek word scandalon? A scandalon is the part of a trap that holds the bait in place to lure animals to it. So, when you are tempted to be offended think of the offense as bait and don’t allow yourself to walk into someone else’s negativity trap. 

2.    Lighten Up!

Using humor with the right attitude can change almost any situation. For instance, in the above example if someone said, “I’m allergic to pink tulips, not to mention your optimism.” You can always reply with, “Sorry to hear that. Have you ever tried taking Claritin? It’s great for all types of allergies.” 

Another option is to ignore what they said and move on. Nothing says you have to respond or take the negative baggage they are handing you. Drop it and find something else to do that will bring you joy.  

3.    Don’t Be “Tone Deaf.”

 Have you ever wondered why someone took something you wrote the wrong way? Well, now you can analyze your own words before you hit send. By using a tone analyzer, you can predict how your message or words will be perceived. The tone analyzer can accurately detect the emotion your text, tweets, and even emails convey to your readers. Click https://tone-analyzer-demo.ng.bluemix.net/ and try it out yourself. It might save you from an argument you never intended to start. 

4.    We’ll that Escalated Quickly! 

Cyber bullies are real, and if you encounter someone who seems to have a never-ending arsenal of negativity to hurl at you, you have two options. 

o    Option One: Be direct. In these circumstances, I advise my clients to have a prewritten response ready to cut and paste into a direct message. Often, we fail to recognize someone who wants to be heard and forget that a simple direct message will stop the vitriol. 

Example:

Dear (Insert Name)

In my life, I actively choose to focus on the positive. It’s my life’s purpose to share love, knowledge, and information responsibly. I apologize if I have offended you in any way. It was not my intention, nor will it ever be. I wish nothing but success and blessings for everyone my platform reaches on social media or online. Please know I will be praying for you, and also for myself, so that we will both communicate more clearly in the future.  

Respectfully,  

o    Option Two: 

If you’ve done everything you can and someone won’t stop harassing you can use the block and report option. But be aware this is often a temporary fix as many trolls have multiple profiles on these platforms. 

5.    BE UNSOCIAL!

In a world chock-full of likes, tags, comments, and swipes it’s hard to imagine a time when technology didn’t exist. On the one hand, these tools are wonderful and keep us all connected. We share our lives, hopes, dreams, and victories. But on the other hand, they can sometimes feel intrusive, negative, time-consuming and downright energy depriving. So lastly don’t be afraid to log off or deactivate your account every now and again. Life is beautiful, but there are times we will face challenges. In these times it’s best to save our energy for what matters. (And trust me arguing on Social Media does not fall into that category.)

If you’d like to talk or feel stuck, please don’t hesitate to reach out. And if these have helped you feel free to share. 

Katrina Marie’s Reflections: Things to consider when going about your day…

Photo by Lili Kovac on Unsplash

Gratitude

Having an attitude of gratitude is essential to having a happy life. Being thankful or grateful comes from the heart and therefore exudes positive energies of appreciation. When we’re appreciative we exude a happy, caring, joyful disposition. You will find yourself attracting people of the same demeanor.

Perception

Because there are so many layers and facets to life, it may be overwhelming at times. For example, highs and lows. Some may say a particular outcome, situation, or reaction is good or bad, positive or negative. Another may say that the same situation wasn’t a bad thing and that it was simply a learning experience.

Our perceptions create our realities.

Staying grounded and focused on priorities, keeping an open mind, maintaining open communication, and getting feedback from people who care for you and have your best interest at heart could help. Often times we may be distant or in a disagreement with someone and after taking the time to sit down with them, be open and honest with them. We may find that both or maybe one of the person’s perceptions were off. Sometimes what we think isn’t always the case.

Creating your space

I believe that our homes should be our personal oasis–that it should exude peace and tranquility, joy, and comfort. I believe that your personal space (whether it be the whole home, your office, personal space, or man cave) should represent who you are. Why not make it reflect the colors of your personality, by using different textures, pictures, posters, inspirational quotes, values, or motivations. Don’t be afraid to get creative, edgy, fun, or playful with your space. If you’re more of a straight-edged person, you may prefer clean lines, fewer colors (black, whites, greys), which a classy look, yet effective. The bottom line of creating your space (depending on what it’s being used for) is to make it all about you! On the other hand, if you’re in a relationship, married, or have roommates, of course, you can work it out where each of you can add your personal touch. If your fortunate to have space to yourself, GO FOR IT!! There’s so much going on outside of your home. As I mentioned before, our home should be our oasis. When I think of my home or my personal space, I think of the peace of mind that it’s gives. I think of a relaxing, fun, happy, and loving environment. It should be safe and where creativity flows. We’re at our best when we’re happy, calm and content. We’re in our zone when we’re confident and free to be us. Ideas come to life! That’s where the magic happens!

Shine your light! Say yes! Be grateful!

Shine your inner light! Positive energy is contagious! Delight in things that bring you joy. You are unique and specially made, for no one can take your place. Be the best version of yourself without any regrets. Work smart. Don’t burn yourself out. Take time for self. Got an obstacle? You were born to win; take the time and seek resources to help you figure it out! Unwind and relax! Kickback. Meditate. Take a breather. Be a believer. An Achiever. Say YES to your best life! A stress-free life! Say YES to your dreams (they can hear you!) Express yourself. Speak your truth! Speak it with love, whatever you do. Uplift someone, It matters. Be grateful. Quick to listen, Slow to speak, slow to get angry. Start fresh tomorrow. Love and encourage yourself just as much as you would a good friend. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Sleep well. Dream big! Love big! Laugh hard. Delight is the beautifulness of life that people may take for granted. What brings you joy? Do that more! Guide your dreams around all your roadblocks and soar!!!

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The Importance of healthy relationships…

Photo by stokpic

In our lifetime, by choice, we build all kinds of relationships. On the other hand, our relationship role of being born into a family is chosen for us. Of course, That may be the role of a sister or a brother. A niece or a nephew. With that said, we have lots of relationships by choice or not that we’re surrounded by these relationships can play a major part of who we are or not. Whether we want them to or not. They can affect us subconsciously.

In an ideal world, it would be nice to be surrounded by people who love and support us 24/7. Having those people express that through their actions, not just their words. It would be nice to have people to root for us, believe in us, encourage us, and motivate us if need be. “Oh yes!” Having someone to build us up versus tearing you down feels good.

All of the above are priceless and at times and for some, (relative or not) are simply hard to come by.

So if you have a supportive circle, person, or persons, hold on to them. Give back in any way you can. Don’t take them for granted and let them know verbally that you appreciate them. Often times we think many things of people, but rarely take the time to express an attitude of gratitude. About which, we’ll discuss at a later time.

If you don’t happen to have a great support system, first and foremost (let me tell ya!) our heavenly Father is just a prayer away!!

Jeremiah 29:12-13; “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Whether you’re a believer or not, he’s there and is NOT distant at all! All you need is the faith of a mustard seed! (and that’s tiny, yet effective!!!)


And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6 NLT

He’s the best support system you will ever have. Because truth be told, some of the closest people we have in our lives aren’t going to be so supportive. Whether it is truly listening vs. simply hearing you, telling you they believe in you, that it’s okay, giving you words of wisdom, hugs (if needed), a shoulder to cry on, or simply a trusting relationship someone you can confide in.

I know lots of people including myself to whom I’d love to run and share some good or exciting news. But I have to think twice before doing so. You may not get their full attention. Do they make time for you? Do they secretly wish for your downfall? Are they dependable? Do they make you feel like they have your best interest in mind? These are all good questions and sadly, we don’t always have a supportive group. We may have to trim the fat. Discard the toxic relationships. Reassess our circle. Recreate a circle. Take some time alone to regroup.

As, my Grandma used to say, “Can’t nobody do you like the Lord.” Okay, I didn’t write this with the intention of preaching, LOL. However, it is my intention to express my truths, to get you the “Good news”, and to keep it real and simply talk to you because I truly care for each and every person that comes across this article and I sincerely wish you the best!

Getting back to the second of all. Concerning those of us who may not have such a positive circle. Don’t worry! There are plenty of options for you! (Aside for praying for guidance and direction, first.) You can always (with technology nowadays) join a support group or a group in general. One of my favorites is Meetup. You can go to http://www.meetup.com or simply download the app. It’s a great way to connect and meet up with groups of individuals that have the same interest. You have to check it out! If you’re an entrepreneur seeking to link with other like-minded entrepreneurs to network, etc. this is the place! Perhaps, your an introvert. Yep, they have Meetups for that too! Maybe you’re a single parent, Maybe you like to travel, seeking to meet new people, have always wanted to join a book club, enjoy spirituality, Law of attraction, sports or more! The options are endless!

Now, I have to clear this up. This app is NOT a dating app (AT ALL!) and they will tell you that within some of the groups. With that being said, they do have groups that people create that are for singles that just want to hang out or venture out. You can even create your own group! So basically, let’s say I create a group. I note my intentions and description for the group and set an event and date. There may be 400 people in the group and whoever is interested RSVP within the app that they are coming out. You can safely chat within the app and meet new, people. This is a great option, however, it’s just one option. Groups and an organization that you’re a part of can be a good resource. So is finding a mentor. Find people who are doing what you are striving to do.

Speak your truth, keep believing in you even when no one else may not. Keep pushing. Exude positive energy. Like attracts like and positive people of the same mindset will soon enter your life. Keeping an open mind is always helpful because your blessings make be in disguise. Things don’t always happen the way we may think. So, keep on being your beautiful self, striving towards the dreams, goals and lovely aspirations and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers because you matter and you are valued! Keep that circle tight! Our time and energy is precious so be careful of whom you give it to.

New results require a new mindset…

Photo by Tachina Lee on Unsplash

Everything starts with a thought…


Striving towards new desires such as new dreams, goals, lifestyles, the beautiful journey of self discovery, or maybe a shifting career paths, etc. is so exciting!!! We get pumped up, hopeful, (as we should) adrenaline starts to flow which leads to creative ideas and inspirations…Then somewhere down the line the excitement fizzles…Why is that? What causes us to get worked up about something we truly desire–only to have it sit on the back burner marinating?

One of the culprits it’s our mindset. Our core, limiting beliefs. Toxic, doubts, fears or worries. Fear of failure, fear of success (yes, that’s a thing) or maybe procrastination sets in…All these things can keep us lacking what we ultimately desire in life.

The big shift that moves causes us to want more, to want something different, better or simply more in alignment with WHO we truly are may come through experiences that forces us to grow and develop. It may come through an unfulfilling or unpleasant experience in which we discover what we truly desire, shifting us in a whole new direction in life. This is a good thing. We are meant to evolve–to better ourselves so that we can help others and live our true purpose.

I believe we shouldn’t and don’t have to live a box. We can reinvent ourselves at any time. Just because you’ve been known as a (fill in the blank) all your life, that doesn’t mean you have to stay in that role or mindset! Let’s chat!

Truth be told, “Life is a precious gift!” Life is something to be cherished and your mindset, the vibe that you give off, focus, intentions, and belief play a MAJOR role in it. You have a purpose, you are unique to your personality, your skills, talents, and abilities. There is only one of you and you are wonderfully and carefully made. -Psalm 139:14 There’s only one of you and you are valuable. What you do and say affects others. You are need and bettering yourself is a reward within itself! This is YOUR time! This is YOUR moment! I would like to ask you as one child of God to the next…

  • Are you happy?
  • Are you fulfilled?
  • What purpose your soul calling you towards?
  • What are your deepest desires, hopes and dreams?
  • What have you always wanted to experience?
  • What do you want to overcome, conquer, accomplish?
  • Where do you want to Visit or travel to?
  • What are some of your limiting beliefs?
  • Are you feeding your spirit?
  • How is your thought life?
  • Is your mind constantly wondering?
  • Are your thoughts more positive or negative?

These are somethings to ponder on. Our mind is constantly on the go. It’s up to us to assess our thought life and gain control. If you’re a believer in the word, boldly submit your negative thoughts to the word of God. To add to that, you may want to get a scripture or affirmation that pertains to your current situation and keep it with you (mentally or written down) throughout your day. It’s also a good thing to have or create a morning ritual or routine. Setting your intentions, being grateful (stating it out loud or writing it down vs. thinking it helps a lot! Keeping a gratitude, journal, or journaling in general is therapeutic. Morning inspiration in any form (music, motivational podcast, video, Ted Talks) are all beneficial and getting out in Nature is good for grounding our minds and energy. Lastly, as I mentioned before Taking that “me time” is “oh” such a good one.

Best wishes to you in your journey of personal development, growth, transformation and career change. I hope you’ve found this info useful. I’m leaving you with links to affirmations and a few scriptures concerning mindset. Peace (of mind), love and light to you! God Bless.

Affirmations link for mindset ( Brief, general info on affirmations) **Affirmations located mid page https://theblissfulmind.com/2018/10/07/positive-affirmations-list/

Affirmation link for success
https://www.theemotionmachine.com/75-affirmations-for-personal-development/

Scriptures concerning mindset and our Thought life…

Philippians 4:8
 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Proverbs 23:7
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he

Isaiah 54:17
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Romans 12:2
 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.